DoubleButterNipples

On June 12^th, 1942, Anne Frank was given a diary for her thirteenth birthday, presumably because she drops a lot of shit, and you can’t destroy a diary by dropping it unless the place it is dropped is currently on fire. She unknowingly wrote one of the most important depictions of the frightening life of being a Jew during one of the darkest times in mankind’s history. This important diary was then given to every sophomore in high school, who then donated it to the nearby dumpster behind school where they smoke pot they bought from the janitor. But even they learned something about Anne Frank: (more…)

Chauvinist Bird President knows everything about the world. Therefore, he will regularly appear to continue a billion year-long argument that no other countries should exist besides the United States of America. It’s a feature I call, “Real History with Our Chauvinist Bird President.” This week, he’ll enlighten us with the real story of America’s discovery. (more…)